Mistakes are not the end (What I Learned from the Life of David Brainerd Part 5)

What is your biggest career regret? My greatest career regret goes back to when I was in college. I wish I had studied harder instead of being lazy. I wish I didn’t compare myself with my blockmates and forced myself to take on more units than what I could handle, which I did out of pride. Graduating on time then was my barometer of how smart I was, and I wanted to prove that I could perform as well as the other undergraduate occupational therapy (OT) students in that regard. If I had the humility to drop the subjects that were too difficult for me to study a few lessons at a time in-depth, it would be far easier for me now to think of treatment approaches for my patients. 

My chances of enrolling in a top graduate school abroad are also dismal because of my mediocre academic performance. When I was in college, I would doodle all sorts of post-nominals at the end of my name next to “OTRP”. Unfortunately, my grades often fall short whenever I look up the qualifications for scholarships and admissions.

I have all sorts of other regrets too, from mistakes that I made during therapy sessions to my lack of frustration tolerance for difficult Mandarin lessons. I could’ve served my patients better and would’ve gone farther in my career if only I made better decisions when I was younger. Nevertheless, God has been gracious, for He uses our weaknesses to make us more effective in our vocations beyond what we can ever imagine.

His Higher Ways

David Brainerd is one of my favorite missionaries because his life is a testament of God’s sovereignty over our shortcomings. Brainerd started out as the best student in his class at Yale University where he studied theology. Unfortunately, he made a disrespectful comment about a certain professor to his classmates. This infraction was a ground for expulsion at that time, which was extremely unjust. The professor found out about the hostile remark, which led the faculty to expel Brainerd. In Connecticut during his time, one could become a local pastor only by graduating from certain universities like Yale. Thus the expulsion also disqualified Brainerd from becoming a church minister.

Brainerd sincerely apologized for his tactlessness and forgave the Yale faculty for their unjust treatment of him. He also expressed his longing to finish his degree. But God turned this failure into an opportunity for Brainerd to gain clarity that he might not have gotten had he been educated and socialized at Yale. Because no local church could hire him, Brainerd became more open to working as a missionary among the Native Americans, which was a career path that theology graduates avoided. 

The Lord used Brainerd mightily in missions! Many of the Native Americans came to know Christ because of his ministry. Moreover, they received better education and resettled into a more conducive housing area under Brainerd’s leadership. The way that God used this Yale dropout among the indigenous peoples inspired William Carey to pioneer a Gospel ministry in India, which empowers missionaries to this day to advance the Gospel in the remotest parts of the earth.

Moreover, the Lord eventually vindicated Brainerd from the unfair university expulsion. Because certain clergymen were appalled by Yale’s treatment of Brainerd, they mobilized for the creation of higher education institutions that would train future pastors for the ministry through rigorous but fair academic and behavioral standards. Thus Princeton University and Dartmouth College were born!

The Mark of an Authentic Servant

We have all made poor decisions that are making it difficult for us to be effective in our vocations. Because God is just and loving, He allows the consequences of our sins to refine our character. But He also uses our mistakes to redirect us towards paths where we can serve Him with much joy as an expression of gratitude for His forgiveness. Being forgiven of our faults teaches us to be kind to others. So if we are mere recipients of His mercy, how can we treat others with cruelty?

I started this blog series by narrating how I compromised my faith when I placed people’s felt needs above God’s Word. And to this day, I regret my failures as a student and as an occupational therapist. I also have faults in other areas of my life, especially when it comes to my family. But through the years, the Lord has been using the consequences of my sins to show me that I’m not as great as I think I am. Yet God loves me because Jesus has paid the price for my trespasses. Christ’s loving kindness towards us despite our sins then teaches us how to love imperfect people, especially our enemies. Moreover, we need not take matters into our own hands when we are wronged because God promises, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” (Rom. 12:19).

It is right to acquire technical skills that make us effective at work. Getting papers published in journals, climbing the ladders of our professional organizations, and venturing into new businesses are achievements that ought to be celebrated. But being filled with hatred for people who are not like us, for those who are struggling in areas where we are strong, for people who fall short of our narrow standards of conduct will hinder us from serving others to the best of our abilities regardless of our credentials. Moreover, hatred is a manifestation that we have not given our lives to God’s service…because loving Jesus by being kind to others is what His authentic servants do, even if it means forgiving one’s enemies. May the Lord help me to grow continually in this area because there are many people who I find hard to forgive. 

“Oh, it is a sweet disposition heartily to forgive all injuries done to us, to wish our greatest enemies as well as we do our own souls! Blessed Jesus, may I daily be more and more conformed to Thee.” (David Brainerd)

Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4. 

REFERENCES:

Edwards, J. (1949). The Life and Diary of David Brainerd (P.E. Howard, Jr., Ed.). Baker Book House (Original work published in 1749).

Piper, J. (1990). Oh, That I May Never Loiter on My Heavenly Journey: Reflections on the Life and Ministry of David Brainerd. https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/oh-that-i-may-never-loiter-on-my-heavenly-journey